Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Passive Aggressive

*Unrelated Note of Importance* Gina is alive and well, I promise.  She recently went back to our former profession, which sounds worse than it is, but this is considered "busy season" and she is lucky to see her house, dog, or fiance for more than 4 hours a day.  That and the fact that she is diligently planning her wedding, makees her an unreliable blogger for the time being.  She will be back.  Promise.

So I am going to tell you a little story.  It starts like this.

Once upon the early summer of 2010, there was a girl, relatively unknown to most, who was in a seemingly abusive relationship.  After all, when she cried "it is never okay to hit a woman, ever" everyone listened.  As they should.  She received lots of support, but decided not to go into details with most as to what transpired that fateful night.
A few months later, this girl was given the gift of happiness yet again and she announced to her friends that she was happy yet again and sporting some shiny new hardware on that all important finger.  Again, not wanting to pry too much, her friends offered their genuine congratulations and kept their surprise at the timing well hidden.  She was happy, and timing does not matter.
The wedding planning began immediately, and a date was set.  The date was a little over a year and a half, but planning is half the fun, right?  Each moment of planning was shared with those around her, pictures of her dress were "ooh-ed and ahhh-ed" by the masses.  The engagement seemed to be carrying on perfectly.  There were countless date nights and they were publicly affectionate. 
The holiday season came and went with updates on new traditions being born for their future family as well as the initiation into each other's family happenings.
Then suddenly, with no warning to her friends, an announcement was made that she was in a dark place, stricken with grief and mourning over what could have been.  Questions were asked, but none were answered for days.  Eventually she explained to those that cared for her that she would contact them when she was ready, but please do not contact her. This was met with understanding and many began to assume the loss involved the engagement.
Days passed and suddenly the second (third?) stage of grief was entered full steam.  Anger, honest anger was spewed towards the former loved one.  This went on for about a week, then acceptance moved in. After acceptance came the rationalization.  To herself, likely, but to her friends definitely.  Friends were asked to not bash the former flame, to let her move forward and grow from the experience.  So far, everything seemed to play out as it should.
Then the bashing returned.  And along with the bashing, the accusations of potential stalking and horrible acts.  None described in detail, but the allusions were clear as day. 
Finally, she reprimanded her friends for discussing her story with others.  And shame on them for asking questions and did someone really just speak to one of his friends?  How dare they!

Is this familiar to anyone else?  Reminiscient of a high school breakup perhaps?  Or gossip overheard by a teenager speaking loudly on their cell phone?
For me, it is the musings of a Facebook *friend* who I have absilutely no memory of from wherever it was I once met or knew her.  As an aside, I have an accept policy on FB for anyone I recognize or that more than a handful of my good real life friend's have confirmed.  I also freely use the Ignore button, but I have kept these posts unhidden for the entertainment value alone. 
I don't consider anyone in any sort of abusive relationship a form of entertainment.  In fact, I sent a private message to the girl last summer to offer help if she needed it. I also don't doubt her story in any way, lest I be accused of that.  The moral to my story is really only that I am offended you chose to berate me and your other 367 friends for "not respecting her privacy by sharing her page with others (obviously this was directed to someone other than me as I am just now writing this post!)" and "keep your opinions to yourself as they are clearly irrelevant and if they differ than mine feel free to use the ignore button."  Really? You tell me and the equivalent of the population of West, TX 3 times over every freaking detail of your life, but we aren't respecting your privacy? 
Good grief. 
And here I am waiting for her next post.  There is a 50-50 chance she is "turning over a new leaf and leaving the past behind with love and respect."  My money is on "You can all go to hell for staying friends with the ex."  She is due for a pissy comment any minute now.
Do you have *friends* like these, or am I the only lucky one?

*also, spell check isn't working, so I apologize for all horribly splled words. Way too lazy to proof read*