Are you a cat?

So last night I unknowingly participated in the dentist-given-hallucinatory drugs. 

Let me back up...

I spent all weekend in and out of consciousness on the couch. The third time I fell asleep mid-sentence was apparently B's first clue that these weren't just naps.  I love a good nap, but rarely ever *need* a nap.  I needed 5 over Saturday and Sunday apparently.

Monday at work, I started to feel my day go straight into slow motion.  Complete with voices lowering a few octaves.  I remember working until about 7, heading home, and then? Nothing.

Tuesday I call B from work and tell him I just want to catch up because we didn't get to talk last night.  He corrects me.  Apparently we *talked* for quite a while, and I continued to *talk* all night.  According to B, I witnessed a helicopter crash, the dog needed to go to the vet, and something about the car selling cupcakes.  I must be busy in my alternate universe.  I blame it on the potentially fatal flu I am convinced I am coming down with.

Last night, still feeling flu-ish, and also having just welcomed in my monthly *original sin*, (B's term, not mine), I crawl into bed and turn on the DVRed Raising Hope.  B missed the premier last week, but finds the show hilarious, which I think causes him to forget to confiscate the remote when the show ends.  He gets up for a second to get water and I see my chance to start Glee.
I ask nicely when he returns if I can watch a few minutes until I fall asleep.  He agrees.  I think at this point he realized my psychotic dreams were sure to be entertaining enough he could suffer through a few minutes of Glee.
Here is where the hallucinating begins again:
Just after Britney finishes singing Britney and Asks Uncle Jesse "Are you a cat?" I hear a faint man giggle. 
I avoid looking at him, because I don't want to spoil the moment.  And I also realize I am probably just hearing things through my medicine induced lethargy.
Then, as I start to fade into dreamworld (sorry Glee, but the meds were STRONG), I hear Finn say to Rachel, "Are you asking me to choose between you and football?" After she responds, I distinctly hear B mumble, "Well that isn't fair.  How could she ask him that?"
Oh Em Gee my husband is involved in Glee.  How strong are these drugs?
When the show ended, I took a chance to find out whether or not this fake version of my husband was a figment of my intoxication or if he was real.

Thanks for letting me watch all of Glee.  That was very nice of you, I know it isn't your favorite show.

I don't mind.  It is actually a good show once you get past the strangeness of guys breaking into song in football pads. 

Oh, well good then.

Clearly there was a chemical spill near my office on Monday that unleashed gallons of dentist happy juice into the air. 

I sure hope it doesn't wear off soon.

Where Am I?

Quick mini post here. 

Scene from my living room two minutes ago:

I just got home and am laying on the couch and have turned on the TV
Husband from doorway: Lost is on tonight
Me: I know, but there is only 5 minutes left, so I thought I would watch a little bit of Glee and see what all the fuss is about.
Husband: Oh, Glee, ya, I have been wanting to tape that.
Me: crickets...

My question is, who kidnapped my husband and replaced him with the guy who is currently in the shower?  I am not sure I am complaining, but I need to know whether I should sleep with a weapon nearby...

How My Mom Ruined My Engagement Story

Well not so much ruined, more like spoiled.

A little background: My now husband, then b/f, likes to be the grand master gift-giver and HATES to not know exactly what you want before he buys. I know, he is awesome. This carried over into the engagement arena as clearly he wasn't picking out a ring without my prior approval. Fine by me, surprises be damned.
Also, he has enough respect for my parents to know that although they didn't need to give their permission, they would think all the more highly of him if he asked. So he made the call to my Dad.
My Dad, in turn, calls me and says. "That b/f of yours just called and said he wants to go to dinner. Does he want to marry you?" Cat, meet outside of bag.

So anywho, the story goes as follows:
My b/f sets a date for a random Tuesday night with my parents. As usual, b/f is on time when my Dad answers the door and leads him into the living room. I don't really know the details of what happened next, only that Dad says yes, and they are 5 minutes into the evening. next order of business, he asks Mom for the name of a diamond guy (who I would meet weeks later when b/f sent me to approve of the diamond before the purchase). Now b/f is completely out of conversation topics, so Dad says, lets call C and have her meet us for dinner. So I meet them for dinner, its awkward because I am fully aware that my Mom is planning our wedding in her mind and my Dad is having visions of me wearing ponytails and playing basketball in the driveway, even though we didnt have a basketball hoop set up at our house and I prefered a ponytail over pigtails. Grand.
The next morning, I am sitting at my desk at work at 9 am when my office phone rings and its my Mom. Mom says, "Honey, I took your Dad to the hospital this morning. He is having heart problems. It may be another heart attack. Please don't worry, but try and get here as soon as you can." My. Heart. Sinks. I grab my purse, head out of work and call b/f who doesn't answer, what a surprise, so I call his secretary and tell her to please find him and tell him it is a semi-emergency.
Phone rings 5 seconds later (his secretary LOVES me). I tell him what is happening and he replies "He could have said no," as though his giving the approval to marry me caused the heart attack.
Later that day, at the hospital, my Mom gets good news from the doctor and replies, "oh thank God, now you can tell b/f that it wasn't his fault". Doctor gives Mom a strange sideways glance, and she proceeds to tell him how b/f asked to marry me yesterday and then thought that was what brought on the drama. Doctor laughs and my Mom decides this is the best story ever. And goes on to tell at least 15 people that day how b/f asked to marry me and isn't that great, but then Dad got sick and b/f thought it was his fault, yada yada.
Until I cry.
Mom gives me the sideways glance, and I have to explain to her how b/f proposed to them, but hasn't yet proposed to me. See, I hold up my left hand, no ring! Mom then continues retelling the story but in a hushed whisper on the phone, which I guess she thinks makes it better.
My Mom is amazing, but her engagement story with my b/f is better than mine. Mine involved a parking lot. No, not like that.
I bet she could really block-out other bridesmaids in pursuit of the bouquet back in the day.