Thursday, May 27, 2010

Desperate Times Call For Drastic Measures

I had started a whole post about a throwback to when SATC was awesome and how if Carrie wore a ridiculous flower on her sweater or a stupid bird on her head you better believe my ass was at Claire’s the next day trying to find a cheap version ASAP. I was going to go on and on about how I am nervous for the SATC2 movie because I am sure it is going to be awful but I’ve already invested like 10 years of my life in this franchise and am therefore obligated to go watch it. But I am not going to do that because there are more pressing matters at hand.

I just realized that I leave for my South Beach vacation in 10 days. Why I thought vacationing somewhere that has a diet named after it is beyond my reasoning right now. All I know is that I am going to have to be in a swimsuit in 10 days and things are not looking too pretty right now. This calls for drastic measures so today I started the Master Clease, also known as the Lemonade Diet or the Beyonce Diet. Yes, yes, yes I know my digestive tract will hate me and I’ll probably be reduced to wearing a butt plug on my vacation but as long as I lose like 5 lbs it’s totally worth it. I just started this morning but I’ll let you know how it goes without going into any toilet discussion unless it’s absolutely necessary.

My biggest challenge is keeping myself busy during this time. I’ve done it once before and I realized how much eating consumes my life because I got so bored that I started inventing things to do and places to go. Which is how I got my dog. So I have a whole list of things on my agenda for the next 10 days: Spanish lessons, making homemade karaoke CDs, fashioning a championship belt for N’s birthday party, etc... Wish me luck.
Hungry hungry hearts,



Sarah RDH said...

Ummmm good luck with that! I COULD. NOT. give up food.

Becky Mochaface said...

For the record, I think you're crazy. But good luck, I, uh, hope you get cleansed? Too early in our bloggership for that?

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