Sunday, April 11, 2010

Wedding 1 : Me 0

Afternoon interwebs, hope you are all feeling better than I am right now.  I am curled up on the couch watching DVR-ed tv from last week trying desperately to type this post without having to sit up. 
Last night I was a bridesmaid in one of my oldest friend's wedding *event*, and it was a night I wish I remembered.  Well, actually, I do remember most of the night, what I don't remember is the moment the ghost of my drinking past showed up and inhabited my body for the remainder of the night.  Last night I thought I was 22 again, and drank like I had never even heard of such a thing as a hangover.  I tried, I really did, but I think it is time I officially bury 22 year old me, and fully embrace mostly boring and sober 29 year old me. Thoughts?
I showed up at the reception site yesterday, spray tanned to perfection and makeup-less in preparation for an entire afternoon of hair coiffing and eyeshadow applying entertainment.  I wish I could say the metallic taste of the 12 cans of hairspray I inhaled yesterday was no longer affecting my food choices 24 hours later, but it is. Also, I really wish I had asked what mascara they used, I cannot get this stuff off my eyes! After being fully transformed into one of 8 Stepford Bridesmaids, we headed to the church and performed our maidly duties of smiling with the occassional oohing and ahhing thrown in for good measure. 
Cocktail hour begins and this is the time I hear the 4 words that sealed my drinking destiny: Seated Dinner Drinking Game.  Never heard of it?  Neither had I.
Seated Dinner Drinking Game is all kinds of awesome.  The table number determines the drinking schedule.  Table 6 drinks at 8:06, 8:16, 8:26, etc.  Higher numbered tables are modified to use only the ones digit, so table 24 drinks at 8:04, 8:14, etc.  The slap in the face part of the game is when the clock strikes the actual table number, say 8:24 for table 24, you have to finish your drink.  Last night, it was virtually impossible to keep a half empty glass on the table.  I think the waiters were on to our game, or maybe just super awesome, and continually refilled my wine and my husband's drink.  So once an hour we were slamming a full drink and then every ten minutes after we were socially drinking.  About 2 hours into the dinner, I was cross-eyed.  About this time, I heard the band playing Don't Stop Believing, which I am pretty sure began the next 3 hours of socially unacceptable gyrating and persitent storming of the stage to display our (the entire wedding party's) singing abilities.  I am pretty sure there are about 200 black-tie clad socialites who may or may not have gone to church early this morning to pray for the sins of today's youth.  For that I am thankful.  Clearly, God intended for me to spend the morning in bed followed by a hangover induced food orgy of queso and Huevos Rancheros, conlcuding with another 2 hour nap.  I will take all the prayers I can get. And more sleep.
Hope the weekend was good to you all!


Becky Mochaface said...

I have never heard of the Seated Dinner Drinking Game. Think I will be avoiding that one at my wedding. Mostly because I probably won't be seated for very long. And no one likes a sloppy, drunk bride.

twononblondes said...

Yes, the bride and groom should probably avoid playing the game at their own wedding. Just be certain to actually grab a drink or two in between all of the wedding pictures and well-wishers. You will need it. It will also help you to not notice your wedding party is stumbling around after playing SDDG without you!

Sarah RDH said...

O.M.G. I wish I had known about SDDG bc I soooooo would've done this at mine; Journey songs & all. (Well, I had the Journey part down; they ARE my fav band of all time....). I really would've. But I wouldn't have actually done it MYSELF, of course, bc I totally agree; the bride should not get sloppy drunk. I drank 1/2 beer at my wedding. I just didn't have time!!

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