Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Internet stalkers are creepy, don't you think?

I went to college in the days of AOL Instant Messenger, Yahoo Mail, and Napster. My dorm room bed was lofted above my desk and my roommate and I strategically placed a mirror across the room so that we could determine who was trying to reach us via email or IM without leaving the comforts of our bed where we sat watching actual music videos on TRL. I set my Yahoo Mail up to *moo* while my roomie set hers up to *oink* when we got a new email. We were the shit. {Gina: Please tell me you are kidding and that you and your roomie did not have coordinating farm animal notifications.}
{Me - Dead serious. The Guy who yelled Yahooooo sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard and my only other option was a chime... The chime could be muffled by MTV, and then it was possible to go 20 minutes without knowing someone was emailing me. I mean, what if there was a *real* emergency and I missed it because I wasn't alerted instantaneously?}
I wasn’t in college when MySpace was a big deal. In fact, I knew nothing of My Space’s existence until 2007, and by then, it was a little late to join the club.
And when Facebook became all the rage with my friends, I abstained. I knew a girl at work who was distracted by it all day and never got any work done and I just couldn’t see the appeal. Then, one night after one or five glasses of wine with the girls, someone blurted out “Did you see so-and-so is married with a baby on the way, and he is still commenting on his ex’s wall?” First, I was all, “Whoa, he is married? And is expecting a spawn?!?” And then I was like, “commenting on her wall?” Is this some new sex thing I don’t understand? WTF is happening?
Then, one of my fav girlfriends grabbed her laptop and introduced me to the world of Facebook. I was enthralled. Obsessed. But not enough to have my own Facebook page.** See I am really scared of super creepy internet stalkers. Not just the crazy pedophile axe-murdered types, the ones who troll friends of friends on Facebook all day to see what kind of karma was bestowed upon the popular girl in high school who had all the boys and treated everyone else like crap. See, I know these people exist because I am one. Not the popular girl with boyfriends galore, the creepy internet stalker.
No worries, I am not preying on your children or your husband or your mom or whatever. I am merely trying to make sure that what my Momma said was true. “They may be popular now, but it will be a shame for them when they wake up after college and realize their best days are over.” And so far, my Momma is the smartest person on the planet. She is also on Facebook, which kind of scares me. But you know who else is on Facebook? The skinny B from the neighboring high school who got knocked up in college, hid the baby bump from her family and only admitted it while in labor at the hospital and on the phone, long distance, to her ex and baby daddy. And she friended me. Karma may be a bitch, but so am I. And I have access to all her pictures. It’s creepy.
Also, from here on out, I will be going by C. I am not creative and am getting tired of being referred to as NB2 when there is no longer anyone referred to as NB1.
Most importantly, if you don't already read, you are crazy. but please head over there and give them some love. One year ago today was tragic for this family, and they could all use some internet hugs!


Sarah RDH said...

New layout looks nice! I was a little taken aback whoa am I in the right place??

By your definition, I am a creepy internet stalker. In fact, one of my FB friends, is the girl that called me a bitch in the hallway in high school bc I told her bf that she cheated on him. Bc I had a crush on him. Well, she did, and was retarded enough to brag about. And she's a fucking loser now too.

TRL was more of my freshman year, and I'd talk to my bff on our HOME PHONE line the whole way through it bc we couldn't drive & had nothing better to do.

Becky Mochaface said...

We must have been in college around the same time. Did you have ICQ too? Because I totally did but now can't remember ever using it that often as everyone I could talk to there I could talk to on AIM.

twononblondes said...

Yes, TRL was freshman year for me too. I am not sure about ICQ, but then again, I am never a trend setter. If it wasn't super popular, I probably didn't know it existed. I had my high school reunion last year, which puts my freshman year a solid decade away. Scary.

Sarah RDH said...

OMG I had ICQ too!!!! ICQ was all the rage! Oh and I totally skipped my 5 year reunion. Most people are still around, or I know what they're doing bc of facebook...or I just don't like them enough to congregate. lmao I have 1 friend from high school! I may go to the ten...idk. We'll see how I feel in 2013.

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