Friday, April 2, 2010

Chat Roulette Part 2

Okay, remember when I was all "Dont do Chat Roulette! It's full of weirdos, creeps and awkward conversations!"? Yeah, me neither. Which is why last night, when I was bored during Grey's Anatomy, I remembered reading an article at work that said Ben Folds is on Chat Roulette like all the time. I wouldn't mind chatting with Ben Folds and Meredith and Derek are making me throw up in my mouth, so I went back in.

I didnt want to end up on or anything though, since I am a semi-respectable lady so I took precautions this time

So armed with the Mardi Gras mask I won by dominating a musical chairs contest, I logged back in and started chatting with some random guy:
Me: Nice beard. (He was wearing a long black wig and a bandana, but he was drinking a beer so I thought we at least at that in common.)
Osama: Thanks. Nice mask. Can you show me your boobs? I am playing Chatroulette bingo and I still have that space open.
Me: Oh, that's probably not going to happen. I'm a lady (he doesn't know better).
Osama: Eh that's okay. You can't blame me for trying. (He's got me there.)
Me: yeah (this isn't awkward at all)
Osama: What about a dog?
Me: You want to see my dog's boobs? Because she's spayed so they are pretty unremarkable.
Osama: No, one of my free bingo spaces is find a dog.
Me: Oh! Here ya go! (Lucy makes her internet debut and is P-I-S-S-E-D about it. She's all WTF, mom?! Where's my GD mask, you selfish wench?)
Osama gives me a virtual high five and we move on. I land on another guy (that's what she said) and he immediately tells me "I'm not going to pull my pants down, so don't bother asking." Mmmkay....Next!
What happens when I click the Next button is the reason I will never. ever. in my life again. be visiting Chat Roulette. It's a erect penis. Like a close-up of a penis. So at first I am all "what is that? it looks a little like...OMG." There doesn't even seem to be anyone attached to this penis. And it is standing up all on its own. At first, I am totally grossed out. Then I am impressed in spite of myself and wondering how long this person has been standing in front of their webcam like this. Then I returned to grossed out. This all happened in about 4 seconds and then I quickly shut my laptop, unplugged it, hid it under my sofa and took a shower where I scrubbed my skin until it was red to try and erase the image from my mind.
You win, Chat Roulette. You win.
P.S. If you need me I'll be huddled in the fetal position in the corner of my office.


Becky Mochaface said...

This? Is exactly why I'm too chicken to try it. I'm freaked out at the possibility at seeing strangers' junks. Not because I'm a prude. I just have zero interest in seeing it. Probably same reason why I don't have a subscription to Playgirl

Sarah RDH said...

Um yeah I totally could've told you that would happen. The bigger question is, why WOULDN'T some creepy weirdo be standing in front of his webcam like that on Chat Roulette??

BUT I MAY also be enticed by Ben Folds too. Actually, no bc I don't even know what Ben Folds looks like, I just know there is a song or 2 that I really liked in the 90's. And remember how I said I can't remember things? Yeah I can't remember the songs, I just know there were a few I liked.

Post a Comment