Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My Project Runway Phase

I may have a problem. What is it called when you see something cool on TV or on the internet and then you tell yourself "I can totally do that" and then you decide that this thing will be like your new hobby for life and will define you in years to come? {I think it is called inspiration. But I could be wrong. It doesn't happen to me often} I am sure it is something in between watching-too-much-TV and being-totally-awesome-and-creative but I can't decide.

I am left-handed so my theory is that I spend my days being boring and counting crap so I need a creative outlet. In reality I may have adult ADD but I can barely remember to take my birth control pills so adding more pills to the mix would just confuse me. I'll give you some examples. (There are a few so if I get bored in the middle of writing this, I'll probably just make this a series and pretend that's the way I intended on writing this post all along and we will all deal with it.)

Project Runway Phase:

For Halloween the only couples costumes my boyfriend, N, would agree to were for us to be Fred and Wilma Flintstone. This is not the creative part, obvs. Especially since I really wanted to be Super Mario and Princess Toadstool. Anyway, I couldn't find any suitable and reasonably priced Flintstone costumes and was really into Project Runway at the time, so what do I do? I go to my favorite place in the world (Target) and buy a sewing machine for $29.95. I even go to the fabric store and buy some fabric and, get this, a pattern. In my head I am all "Holy shit, I am going to make my own costume and it's going to be amazing and people are going to ask me to make all their costumes. Well, if those bitches expect me to make their costumes they better expect to pay me for my services. I don't F'ing work for free. Those whores." In the middle of all this N calls me:

What are you doing?

I'm at the fabric store. Which do you think more closely resembles animal fur: felt or velvet?

Why are you at the fabric store?

All the costumes at Party City were overpriced and totally unrealistic. As if Wilma would ever wear a poly/nylon blend with those huge rocks around her neck. Anyway, I'm making them instead.

Isn't that alot of trouble? Do you even know how to sew?

Well, there are instructions in the box. And I am trying to be more domesticated. I mean, after this, we won't ever have to buy clothes again. I'll just design and sew all of our clothes from now on.

You're ridiculous. {You are my F*ing hero is what you are. Seriously, when you learn how to hem, I can keep you in business for like a week or two}

In my head, every time someone says something is ridiculous, I assume they mean amazing. I told N all he had to do was show up and since N is super mega cheap and completely uninterested in Halloween, he goes with it. Here is the result:

I've blacked out our eyes to protect our privacy like they do in COPS.
Please don't make fun of my f'ed up boob and less than flat tummy.
And if N looks like he hates life it's only because he was in the military reserves in college and apparently they teach them that smiling in pictures is equivalent to terrorism, and it's most definitely not because he is wearing a large felt sack.

I have not used that damn sewing machine since. {I will give you $10 for it? $15 if it includes lessons, or the very least the original directions. Maybe its time for me to go into phase - project runway? Currently, I am in phase - be more domestic, which includes ironing and baking and actual dirt removing cleaning. It sucks, I need a new hobby.}



Sarah RDH said...

awesome! I did this myself when I decided to go as Pebbles! Apparently costumes from the stone age are simple enough, that we think we can make them. Except instead of a sewing machine, I used the "no sew" route and used that iron on glue strip stuff. It worked. I effed it up a little, so it was a little ummm on the short side, but I was 18 and IN MY PRIME, so I didn't really care. I don't have a pic, but my ex-bf from the time does. I'll totally facebook him & see if he still has it. (I know he does.) But I probably wouldn't post it anyway, bc he was dressed as a pimp and has red hair. like really red hair. And the internet does not need to know I dated something like that.

But you're costumes look marvelous! And I'm really impressed by a sewing machine under $30. They are so expensive!! I don't know how to sew and I'm lazy, but I'd like to learn so I could make some things for my kids, and my hubs could quit dropping his work jeans off at his mothers to patch holes, and then I hear comments at the next family function from EVERYONE she blabbed to about how un-domestic I am. It's lovely.

Becky Mochaface said...

Those are awesome for never sewing before! Seriously don't think I could do that.

Brianne said...

hahahahahaha i loved the convo between you and N. that was fantastic.

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