Saturday, March 13, 2010

What are we doing here

Welcome to Two Non Blondes. We are, in fact, two girls who are not blonde.

Nonblonde 1 (or V) and myself (Nonblonde 2), are perfect skinny (in our heads and only in the morning when we are laying in bed and the fat lays flat. By the way, the smart ass in italics is NB1 :) ) brunettes who spend a good portion of our day emailing about the truly important things in life (see life lessons/rules below) and other random thoughts. Since we are nice people (the term “nice” is used loosely), we thought we would share with the rest of the world.

A recurring theme in our conversations: basic rules of life. Most of these are based on actual persons or events witnessed by one or both of us. Some recently noted rules include:

1. You should date someone who is bigger in stature than yourself, because you automatically look smaller when standing next to them. Same theory applies to surrounding yourself with people less intelligent than your self. Who doesn’t love being the smart one in the room? (And being the person who makes the most money. Shallow, yes. But rewarding. When feeling down just surround yourself by people who majored in something interesting and now make nothing. Life is better just like that.)

2. Hand sanitizer is not an acceptable alternative to hand washing, i.e, using soap and water, after using the restroom, even if it is made available in public restrooms. Yes, I am talking to you woman on the second floor, and I am fairly certain that if I wasn’t standing at the sink, you wouldn’t have even bothered with the Purell. (Gross)

3. On the topic of public restrooms, likely the last stall is the handicap accessable stall. If there are four stalls are available, use the first or third stall. No one wants to be forced to use the handicap stall if they don’t need to, and no one wants to pee directly next to you. It’s proper etiquette, not to mention required personal space. The same goes for urinals, I have been told. (Yes, several of our life lessons involve bathroom etiquette. It needs to be preached.)

4. Join an online shoe club. Even if you never purchase a shoe, the “personally selected shoe styles” are delivered monthly and are a source of great entertainment.

Ooh, Millionaire Matchmaker is on. That show makes me feel like a genius.


P.S. I know you are all like, oh two chicks, double the reading pleasure. This is most likely not going to be the case. In actuality, we are just each twice as lazy as a normal person and therefore can only maintain a blog if two people perform the task of one. Whatever. Please keep reading. Please. Hearts, NB1


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