Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Everything I never wanted to know I learned on Facebook

I am not perfect.  This I know and readily admit.  I have many faults, one being my penchant for gossip and unquenchable desire to know the story behind everything.

I have been trying to keep my thoughts and judgments out of other people's business.  I have tried to not bring up any gossip unless it is good news about someone that can be construed as sharing in their excitement.

Facebook is killing me.

  • I know that an acquaintance of mine is due to have her 2nd child any day now, and I also know what he son had for dinner tonight.
  • I know that another acquaintance's newborn son is sick, and I feel awful about knowing that.  But I wish her and the baby nothing but the best.
  • I know when the latest engagement occurs.
  • I see pictures from weddings that I wasn't able to attend.
  • I know what my ex is doing on any given day.
  • I know that two former classmates hooked up at our class reunion last year while one of the two was still in a relationship.
  • I know that entirely too many people in this world do not understand the correct usage of there, they're, and their.
  • I know people log a lot of hours on farmville when they should probably be working.

These are things that I can live with and not feel the great urge to gossip about.

What I can't live with and simultaneously try to be a good person? The Oversharers.

The guy who has an affair on MY friend.  Who, on the very day the divorce is finalized changes his formerly hidden relationship status to "in a serious relationship" with the other woman.  The guy who boasted of his 1 year anniversary with this same woman when his marriage failed only 10 months before.  The guy who has now proposed to this woman.  The woman who leaves messages on his status decrying her luck at finding such a classy and wonderful man. 

The girl, who I can't place from my past but who befriended me.  The girl who over the late summer months went on a status update frenzy posting about how it is never okay to hit someone, and how it is a strong woman who walks away from a bad relationship.  Her status changed from in a relationship to single in between these posts.  Daily posts were pro-female voicing how she was better off without that loser.  Then today she reveals she is engaged.  And none of her other friends seem surprised in their posts?!?

It is my *friends* like the above who make daily posts that send my brain off to crazy land while I try and figure out how their lives play out.  It takes emails from Gina to remind me that it is not appropriate to email these people and ask, why in the name of monkeys are you airing out your life decisions.  But, while you are airing out these happenings, could you pretty please explain more because, seriously, you are giving my overactive imagination just enough rope...

It makes me very happy that I was not apprised of such social networks while I was dating.  The *official* relationship status on Facebook has me utterly confused.  In my life, we had the DTR (determine the relationship) talk prior to using the term boyfriend or girlfriend.  Do you now ask the other person if you are facebook official, or do you wait for them to change their status first?  And how do you deal with the friend status after a breakup?  Do you stay friends?  Do you block your ex?  How many days do you leave pictures up?  Oh the insanity.

I am not complaining as without facebook I would feel completely out of the touch with the world.  Also, I would miss such gems as the *like* button of which my favorite use was when a friend's status was *liked* when he went from being in a relationship to being single.  Nothing says, "Dude that girl was a lifesuck" more than liking a breakup. 

What I need?  Is a way to subtly convince these people to write a blog so I can get to the bottom of this madness.  Without them knowing I care of course.

Is that too much to ask?

I am the only one that feels this way?


Sarah RDH said...

No. I totally agree. Unfortunately, my father-in-law is one of those that shares his every meal, and ohhh- my fav one was just this week when he put "Today is 33 years of wedded bliss." (except for THERE was about 8 grammatical errors in THERE when he typed it.) This, I found funny, bc his wife, my mother-in-law, doesn't even speak to him. THEY'RE only together bc they can't afford a divorce, they don't ride in a car together on the very rare occasions they go to the same place, and she hasn't gone to a family Christmas (or any other events) for his side of the fam since I've known her. "Bliss"??? Really? Nice front. No one buys it.

Becky Mochaface said...

There was a girl from my high school class that while we weren't friends was always very nice. So when she requested friending on Facebook, I accepted. Only sometime between high school and recently, she became uber religious. Though I don't have a problem with that specifically her status updates were always filled with Glory to God and other such evangelistic stuff that rankles me. But the one that put me over the top was when she posted about her baby being sick because it was the devil trying to get to her and her family. But rather than unfriend her because - while she might be crazy she is still very nice - I hid her updates so I don't have to see the crazy anymore. I love that hide option. I no longer have to see Farmville or Mafia War updates. WIN.

Post a Comment