Saturday, May 22, 2010

It's my birthday and I will stay home and watch Lost if I want to

Sunday is my birthday.  My last birthday in my 20s.  For some reason, I think turning 30 will be better than turning 29, but I have no rational thinking to back that up. 
About 3 months ago I went semi-vegetarian.  I gave up meat for Lent, and have since rarely eaten any meat (chicken, beef, pork) and found that I am pretty ok with my new diet.  I have my reasons and I wont bore any of you with them.  No worries.  So my Husband scheduled a birthday dinner Friday night with friends.  At Fogo de Chao.  A churrascaria (all you can eat meat on carved from a stick).  He has been dying to go.  I had the $20 salad bar.  It was a fantastic salad bar, but $20?  A little steep.  I think it is subtle payback for setting our wedding date and subsequently our wedding anniversaries 3 days prior to his birthday. 
Also, I have felt teterribly guilty all week long.  I can't for the life of me come up with something to ask my husband for as a birthday gift.  He has a stellar reputation as a great gift giver, and he is really tormented by my lack of participation in continuing his streak.  Any other given month I could probably think of at least 5 things I wanted to go splurge on, but this month?  I can think of nothing.  I hate to waste a good opportunity, but I am truly stuck.  How can I convince him the best birthday gift ever was given by ABC in scheduling the Lost series finale on my birthday? 
I do actually have a wish list in mind,  but I don't think he will be rushing out the door to purchase:
A semi-permanent housekeeper
An all you can eat mac and cheese buffet that appears nightly and cleans itself up
A gnome to drive my car to the washtub once a week
A baby to hold and squish and love (but not actually my child, preferably a child I can hand off to someone that owns it when they cry)
Chips, queso, and a margarita... actually, he may be able to come through on this one.

ps... I may have cheated on ShoeDazzle and ShoeFab, but KK cheated first... to be updated tomorrow with pictures!
Happy weekend everyone!


Friday, May 21, 2010

Open Letter To My DVR

Dear DVR,

I am sorry for whatever I did to make you treat me this way. When you didn’t record Glee on Tuesday, I was only slightly upset. And even though Doogie Howser was guest starring and the next day everyone was saying how this episode made them cry, I thought to myself, It’s okay, anyone can have a minor slip up. I love my DVR unconditionally even through all its faults.

But last night, DVR. Last night was experienced a serious setback in our relationship. When I take my boyfriend out to celebrate his work accomplishments on the same night as the 2-hour season finale of Grey’s Anatomy, I expect you to be there for me. I trust you. When I sneakily check my FB on my phone during dinner while N is in the bathroom and everyone’s status reads “OMG THIS IS THE BEST GREY’S EVER!” I put faith in you that soon I will be watching this epic episode. Sure, maybe I was the first to break the trust when I checked to make sure you would be recording said episode before I left the house, but I never expected you to tell me such a boldfaced lie. I can still hear you mocking me “Oh, you want me to record this show right here? The one highlighted in red? Well joke’s on you!”

I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you have not been planning this sabotage for months and purposely skipped the biggest episode of the season. I am hoping this is just your time of the month and next week we will back on good terms. I still love you, but I don’t like you very much right now.


P.S. Yes, I realize I can watch it online but sitting at my computer for 2 hours sounds miz.

P.P.S. I will stab anyone who writes any spoilers in the comments. Thanks!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Shoesday Late Edition

You know the stages of a breakup?
1. River of tears and depression
2. Denial
3. Drinking
4. Anger and more depression
5. Rebound relationship
6. Total body awesomeness makeover
7. Total life awesomeness makeover (or drugs if your name rhymes with Minsday Mohan)

I am thrilled to announce KK has DASHed her way through and is firmly in stage 6, with a minuscule corner of a stiletto heel back on the yellow brick road to stage 7.  Clearly, someone introduced Kimmy to a corner and she is thisclose to turning it.  I don't know if it is the rumored new man-friend, her new post-diet body, the fear of US teens brought on by really angry Bieber fans, or her ex-husband spewing stories that have whipped her into shape, but it is almost like the Kim of old has returned.  After our many near-breakups, KK has realized she will never do better than me I am serious about this shit and she put forth an effort to save the relationship.  Or, our Shoe Dazzle friend had a Jessica Simpson Chicken of the Sea moment and realized that women who work and *working girls* are not one in the same.  Either way, I was thrilled with my 6th and 7th shoes in my may selection.  (Side note - WTF? Shoe Dazzle?  You send me 5 shoes.  I say no, and then you send TWO more shoes?  If you sent them all at one time, I might be tempted to take our relationship further, if you know what I mean.)

The Poppy.  Totally work appropriate, and I am secretly dying for some red shoes.  But I am not crazy about the tan tassels.  This is totally my fault though, I had no idea I needed to include tassels in my Absolutely Not list. 

Then, I received this. 

The Nancy.  I was super tempted by the total adorableness of this amazing shoe, but it is tan (which I am trying to avoid as I have too many) and it isn't quite work appropriate for me (lots of walking across parking lots from one building to another, it kills cute heels).  Also, she threw in the philanthropy plea, buy this and we donate x% to charity.  So now I am a B for choosing not to buy?  Great, I love guilt.

Although I was completed taken by surprised by KK's effort this month, I decided to stick with my tough love approach until she can completely commit to this relationship.  I am no shoe whore.

I did however get my new Shoe Fab shoes in:

I apologize for the weird sized pictures.  New computer.  Can't figure out how to work the photo editor.

Sorry for the late post.